The First Step to Getting Your Ex Back

man woman silhouetteSoon after a break up you’re emotional but at the same time itching to take the first step to getting back with your ex – to do something (anything!) to put things right.

The trouble is, being emotionally charged and revved-up for action is not a good mix! It’s a formula for rash, knee-jerk reactions to your break up that are steps in the wrong direction.

For instance, a common but disastrous first step is bombarding an ex with texts, email or phone calls – or all three! – instead of holding back and giving them space.

Another mistake is doing too good a job of acting like you don’t care – and saying and doing things you don’t mean to prove the point. Or, using jealousy to make your ex regret the break – a definite step in the wrong direction because, more often than not, it backfires, big time.

So what should you do?…

What is the Right First Step to Getting an Ex Back?

set of footprintsThe best first step to getting your ex back achieves something important. Rather than anger, confuse and alienate your ex, it lays the foundation for a successful campaign to get them back.

  • The good news is that it’s easy to do.
  • The bad news is that it’s probably the last thing you want to do.

What is it?

Step One is… do nothing!

Yes, that’s right.

Now it’s almost certain that the idea of “doing nothing” goes completely against the grain of what you feel, and makes no sense.

This is because you are feeling a lot of anxiety (if not sheer panic) about the break up, about what your ex is doing today and what the future holds. You feel the urgent need to do something about it, to take some kind of step right now to fix the situation.

This is perfectly natural – literally. We’re hot-wired to respond to panic by taking action – often of the “act first, think later” variety!

To make sure you take the right kind of action you need to calm down and do your thinking first. And until then, do nothing at all.

Why This First Step Really Works

A common concern is, won’t doing nothing actually ruin your chances of getting your ex back?

Not at all.

The key thing to be aware of – to help you get on board with this one – is that just about anything you do right after a break up is likely to be the wrong thing.

The reason’s simple. You’ve just broken up, you’re emotional, and you probably haven’t got a clear of idea of the essential do’s and don’ts of getting your ex back yet. All you know is, you’re anxious to do something which puts you in danger of doing anything, right or wrong.

Doing nothing protects you from this – from making the kind of mistakes that are made in panic mode. At the very least, when you’re not doing anything it’s certain you’re not doing anything wrong!

It also means you are taking one of the most effective “early days” steps to getting an ex back – giving your ex space. As you browse around for advice you’ll read over and over how important this is, and with good reason. It’s the most effective way to get your ex to think about you, to think good things about you – and miss you.

There’s no danger that by doing nothing at this stage in the game your ex will think you don’t care, or that they will slip away beyond your reach forever. This isn’t going to happen. They know very well how you feel and you have a history together – shared memories tied up with all sorts of deep feelings. These memories and feelings don’t evaporate “like that” just because you and your ex are not together.

Hopefully you now feel confident that this first step to getting your ex back is the right step. But what next?

And stay positive. With the right advice it really is possible to get your ex back!

An original First Step article by Molly Laws, exclusive to this site!
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