There are signs your ex wants you back – signs you can trust. Others may seem encouraging but are unreliable and may lead to disappointment and yet more heartache if you give them too much weight.
You need to know the difference – which signs you can believe in, and which are unreliable.
Good Signs or Wishful Thinking?
The first step is to be aware that many so-called “signs” your ex wants you back may be signs of wishful thinking more than anything else.
After all, you want your ex back!
But in this state of mind it is easy to see things the way you want to – as signs your ex wants to get back together – when they are not.
In reality they can be explained in a number of ways – and not necessarily the way you would like. If you get it wrong you set yourself up for hurt and humiliation, pursuing an ex who does not want to get back together after all.
Signs That May Be Misleading
To avoid being misled and getting hurt, here are some signs that are unreliable and best taken with a healthy pinch of salt.
An important thing to remember is that if any of these apply, it not necessarily a sign that your ex does not want you back, only that they are not a reliable basis for thinking that they do. For instance, if you find that many of the sure-fire positive signs also apply, then there is a good chance that they really do want you back.
If, however, the following signs are the only signs you’ve seen, then be careful! There are things you can do to improve your chances with your ex (covered in the best ex back plans) but in the meantime it’s unwise to try to get back together based on these signs alone.
- Your ex has been talking about your break up and how they regret it. What is it that your ex regrets? The hurt? The broken dreams? Your ex may regret many things but it does not mean they regret the decision to break up. They may feel as strongly as ever that it was the right decision – but often, the right thing to do is not an easy thing to do. They may merely want to adjust to the “new reality”, and talking about your break up helps.
- They care about how you are coping with the break up: This is not a sign that your ex wants you back. It is a sign that they are a caring person and/or have guilt issues. Perhaps the best news they hope to hear is that you are happy and happily settled in a relationship – with someone else.
- Your ex has contacted you about practical matters: They have a solid purpose for calling – mail, outstanding bills, important messages. Don’t read more into it than there is. Life has to go on and your ex can’t put it on hold because you have an over-active imagination.
- Their friends/your friends see signs your ex wants you back: Maybe they are being kind, saying what they know you want to hear. Maybe they are having fun at your expense, deliberately giving you false hopes. Or maybe they are helping your ex to keep their options open – for sex, not a relationship. (See, Is my ex stringing me along?)
- You have been sexually intimate: Wanting sex and wanting a relationship are two very different things. Is it possible you are being used? Did they call the next day and ask you to get back together? Are they cursing themselves? Bottom line is, this is not a sign your ex loves you or wants to get back together, even if they said so at the time.
When looking for signs your ex wants you back it isn’t easy to put logic and common sense ahead of emotions. It’s not easy at the best of times. However, do your best. You will then have only reliable signs your ex wants you back and can move ahead with confidence.
An original article on Misleading Signs by Molly Laws, exclusive to this site!
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