Be Honest – What Kind of Girlfriend Were You?

When you look at the top reasons why boyfriends break up they are basically a set of behaviors that men really don’t like, at all. Sure, there may have been a specific incident or argument but there’s a very good chance these behaviors were the real problem.

Looking at the big picture, these least-liked behaviors boil down to four types of girlfriend guaranteed to turn a boyfriend into an ex boyfriend – the “Control Freak”, the “Clinger”, the “Ice Princess” and the “Game Player”. Other types  – such as motor mouths and divas – are pretty innocent by comparison and can be as lovable as they are annoying! But with the with the following types of girlfriend, the bad far outweighs the good. It may take a boyfriend time to break up, but sooner or later they will.

Take a look and see if any their behaviors match how you treated your ex-boyfriend. And be honest. Many women don’t realize that they have in fact become one of these least-liked types of girlfriends – or acted in ways that made them seem to be. The fact is, we can all slip into behaviors that, when we stop to think about it, we don’t like at all.

It may be that you have nothing in common with any of these women. But if you do, you can turn this to your advantage. The more you can show that you understand what really went wrong, the more likely your ex boyfriend will be to give you a second chance.

The Control Freak

A woman shouting at a man.Control freaks engage in a wide range of behaviors including the all-time classic – non-stop nagging. Many women think nagging is “necessary” but it’s not – it’s a form of manipulation and control that lacks respect or any effort at real communication.

Other controlling behaviours include nit-picking (or plain dictating) what a boyfriend wears and how they behave. They may compare their boyfriend unfavourably with other men or “real men” in general, to shame them into doing what they want. And when all else fails, the Control Freak may resort to sulking, temper tantrums or withholding affection and intimacy to get their way.

What’s really sad about Control Freaks is that not only do they become blind to the good qualities of their boyfriend – things that really matter – but their own good qualities get buried too. This means that not only do they give a boyfriend lots of reasons to leave, they give them no reason to stay.

The Clinger

A man trying to comfort a tearful woman.As a relationship matures couples don’t need to spend every minute together, or to constantly reassure each other that they are special and loved. In terms of bonding and trust-building, they’ve “been there, done that”.

The Clinger, however, can’t move on but instead, becomes increasingly needy. They need constant compliments and reassurance that they are loved, attractive and desirable. They continue to expect to do everything together and become very upset when their boyfriend (quite naturally) doesn’t want to. There are frequent tears, irrational fears and jealousies – and ignoring them only makes things worse.

Obviously there’s a great deal of insecurity at work here, and generally a boyfriend will be sympathetic for some time. But as he feels increasingly stifled and unfulfilled, and realizes that no amount of effort makes a difference, this changes. Self-respecting boyfriends will recognize that they need to call it quits, and hope that she gets the help she needs.

The Ice Princess

A cold looking woman.The Ice Princess is the opposite to the Clinger. She’s not interested in doing anything together, and not interested in what her boyfriend does by himself, either. She is rarely affectionate, and often cold and distant sexually as well as emotionally. Sometimes (but not always) an Ice Princess stops caring about how she looks, too.

For her boyfriend, this lack of interest and effort is a puzzle. Is he being taken for granted or has she fallen out of love? Is she with him just because it’s better than being alone? Or is she simply a Paris Hilton wannabe who thinks it’s cool to act cool.

Whatever the cause, the Ice Princess puts a freeze on the sense of “togetherness”, warmth and companionship – something that men particularly value and look for in a relationship. And when a relationship is not living up to these expectations, it’s only a matter of time before a boyfriend decides it’s not worth having.

The Game Player

A woman playing up to a man.Where do we start?! We all know a Game Player. She’s confident, outgoing, flirtatious and often highly attractive. But on closer inspection she’s superficial, manipulative, untrustworthy and self-centered. She may care about her boyfriend but her main concern is what she can get out of a relationship not what she puts into it.

Unfortunately, Game Players are skilled at using their charms, or jealousy, to make sure a boyfriend sticks around and keeps on giving. But eventually, boyfriends do realize they’re being played for a fool.

This often happens when a man finds himself making a meaningful emotional connection with another woman, at work or at play, and realizes how rewarding it is. Being dumped for a “real woman” comes as a shock, but quite honestly, Game Players don’t deserve any help to get their ex back. They had it coming!

An original by Molly Laws, exclusive to this site!
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