How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back – Steps to Success

As you can read in Tips on Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back (introduction), the basic “how to’s” – steps to success – are much the same to get an ex boyfriend back, or a girlfriend. For instance, our How to Get an Ex Back Action Plan is for both men and women.

But of course men and women aren’t completely the same! With this in mind, here is a rehash of the Action Plan focused on how to get an ex boyfriend back.

The following steps are much the same in the “unisex” version but contain extra tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back to boost your chances of success.

Step 1: Wait Before Taking Steps to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back fast, hold your horses! If you act too fast you have a really good chance of doing the wrong things. Most mistakes are made in the “early days” before people find out all the vital do’s and dont’s.

Another very important reason to hold off is that you need to give your ex boyfriend space. This is a “must do” for men and women alike but especially important for women because needy or controlling behaviors are common reasons why boyfriends break up. If there’s a chance this could be true, repeating the same behavior will drive him even further away. Keep the “no contact rule” for at least two to three weeks. This means no contact – at all!

Step 2: Control Your Emotions

This really a really critical part of knowing how to get an ex boyfriend back. And although it’s one of the the first things you need to do, you need to keep it up through to the finish line. Why? As you can read in why boyfriends make excuses for breaking up, men typically avoid emotional drama at the best of times. After a break up this is all the more true – he knows you are most likely very emotional. Does this make him feel sorry for you? No, it just makes you totally scary and best avoided!

It’s your job to give your boyfriend a different impression so that when the time is right to make contact he won’t be afraid – and run a mile. Keep your emotions in check – publicly anyway – and be careful who you share your real feelings with. You don’t want word to get out that really, you’re an emotional wreck.

Step 3: Know Why Your Ex Boyfriend Broke Up With You

To know how to get your ex boyfriend back you need to know what really went wrong. This is one aspect of getting an ex back that is more of a challenge for women. As I mentioned above, men are more likely to give excuses than the real reasons for breaking up. This means women are far more likely than men to be left wondering, “What happened?”

To help you get to the truth, see “Why did my boyfriend break up with me?” – the top real reasons why boyfriends break up. It’s no fun admitting faults and mistakes but do your best to be totally honest. Did you become (or seem to) of these least-liked types of girlfriend?

At the same time, think about what the kind of girlfriend you used to be – the one he loved. As Michael Griswold of the M3 System to reverse a break up (read my M3 System review here) says in this great video, this is the “essence” of how to get an ex boyfriend back.

If your boyfriend broke up with you because you cheated, don’t lose heart. With the right advice, you can get him back. See How to Get a Boyfriend Back After Cheating – a good place to start, with links to more help and advice.

Once you’ve waited a while, controlled your emotions and have a good idea of what really went wrong, you can take active steps to get your ex boyfriend back!

Step 4: Get Fixing

With a good idea of the real reasons for your break up, you have a good idea of how to get your boyfriend back – of how to be the woman he loved again. But you will need to do more than say you will change. You will need to prove you can change. The best way to do this is to take steps toward being the person he once loved before you talk or meet.

The big tip for women on this front is to deal with feelings of low self-esteem, insecurity and/or emulating unhealthy role models, which lead to relationship-busting behaviors such as nagging and neediness. When you meet, your ex boyfriend will be doubly impressed that (a) you have figured out the real reasons for the break up and (b) have taken solid steps to change by reading books and articles, or joining support groups online or off.

Step 5: Arrange a Meeting With Your Ex Boyfriend

This is a very critical part of your How to Get My Boyfriend Back plan. If you have done the rights things so far – given him plenty of space, managed your emotions and waited for the right time to contact your ex boyfriend – all should be fine. Your ex boyfriend won’t be frightened off by your contact – or the idea of meeting with you!

One thing that men are surprisingly good at is detecting a game in play. So, although you may have a good excuse to meet – a CD to return, say – my advice is to play it straight. For instance, explain you’d like to get together for a casual coffee, just to clear the air so you can move on without things being awkward. At this stage, many people blow it by calling again and again if they don’t hear back right away, so be patient. Allow a reasonable time – a good few days or even a week or so – for him to get back to you.

In the meantime…

Step 6: Make Yourself Irresistible to Your Ex Boyfriend!

As you can read in How to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back, one huge advantage women have is the power to get an ex boyfriend back by looks alone! Well, maybe that’s a little exaggerated but it is true to say it will really swing things in your favor, so exploit this particular step to the max! No one knows better than you what will work a little magic on your ex boyfriend.

There’s a serious side to looking your best too. You’ll feel much more confident when you meet your ex and as an added bonus, it will boost your desirability – confidence is one of the characteristics men find most attractive in a woman!

Step 7: Keep Your Meeting Upbeat

When you actually meet your ex boyfriend, it’s your responsibility to put him at ease. You’ll most likely achieve a lot on this front just by looking your best. You can also think of some icebreakers before you meet and even though it may be hard, smile! This simple gesture will immediately reassure him that he’s not about to face an emotional scene. Make sure he doesn’t!

Step 8: Don’t Mention Getting Back With Your Ex Boyfriend

This particular step to get your ex back is pretty much the same for men and women. At some point, the conversation will turn to your break-up. You have one goal only – to mention (as casually as you can) that you now understand why he broke up and steps you’ve taken to change – for your own sake. Once you add this last part, he’ll relax rather than feel he’s been tricked into a meeting so you could ask for a second chance. Most of all, he’ll believe you really are sorry and making a genuine effort to change. The end result is that he will leave your meeting with good thoughts and feelings about you and importantly, won’t be afraid to talk or meet again.

You’ll find more advice on meeting with your ex, here and the best ex back ebooks cover this step in detail. (For instance, the Magic of Making Up (review) includes specific but subtle techniques for “making a connection” with your ex when you meet.

Step 9: Give Him His Space Again

If all goes to plan, your ex boyfriend will be pleasantly surprised on a number of fronts – by your looks, your confident and cheerful behavior, and your honesty and action regarding your shortcomings. And the fact that you didn’t pressure him to get back together.

When you think about it, this is a lot for your ex boyfriend to take in, and many of his thoughts and feelings will be turned upside down. It’s not realistic then to expect an immediate result. You have to trust that he is thinking about you, and thinking good things about you. This is really hard to do, but I know of many cases where – after all their hard work – women have ruined their chances by pestering their ex boyfriend after meeting with them.

More Tips on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

This overview of how to get your ex boyfriend back – steps to success – is an introduction to what you need to do to win him back, but plenty more help is available:

My main aim has been to give you a clear starting point for knowing how to get your ex boyfriend back and as you can see there are lots of links on this page to more information. If you’ve found it useful, you might want to bookmark this page so you can come back to it. I know there is a great deal of “advice” out there – but I also know that a lot of it is sketchy or confusing!

All our recommended ex back ebooks – detailed step-by-step to get an ex back – are backed by 60-day “no questions asked” 100% money-back guarantees – try them risk free!

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