How to Get a Boyfriend Back After Cheating

The question of how to get a boyfriend back after cheating is one of the “get my ex back” issues that women definitely need more help with. The most useful starting point is to be brutally honest and say something that you probably already know. Getting a boyfriend back after you cheated is not going to be easy.

Unhappy man with his girlfriend in the background.However, getting an ex boyfriend back after you cheated is not impossible. Although you have done something very wrong, many couples do get back together after cheating. In fact, at the same time that one partner is looking for advice on how to get forgiveness, the other is just as likely to be searching for advice on whether to give forgiveness. Why? Because despite what has happened, deep down they still love their ex.

The first – and most important – step is to get inside your boyfriend’s head and understand how he really feels about the fact that you have cheated.

This is the key to knowing how to get a boyfriend back after cheating because:

  • You need to know what kind of thoughts and feelings you are up against.
  • The more your ex boyfriend believes you really understand how he feels, the more he will believe you really are sorry – and perhaps deserve that second chance after all.

However, if you think you can imagine how your your boyfriend feels, think again. Men respond very differently to cheating than women do. To help you “think like a man” here’s a summary of how men feel about cheating.

Each of these points will help you know how to get a boyfriend back after cheating.

Cheating is an Attack on His Manhood

Studies find that as well as the “usual” hurt, for men cheating is an attack on their very “manhood” – a highly-sensitive issue at the best of times. It affects not only his self-image (male ego) but his “status” with other guys – something that’s extremely important to men. The best way to repair his status is to “kick his girlfriend to the curb” and act like he doesn’t care. What this means is, you’re up against a big ego and a lot of acting.

To get your boyfriend back, you need to see past the acting and do what you can to repair the damage to his ego and image. This is tricky but won’t you don’t do can achieve as much as what you do do. For instance, having lots of admirers but remaining single will speak volumes – and make your man feel he is envied as the only man who has a chance with you.

There’s No Such Thing as “It Didn’t Mean Anything”

For women, sexual flings are much less threatening (and therefore much easier to forgive) than emotional attachments with someone else. For men, it’s the other way round – they are most threatened by sexual infidelity.

This means that the old excuse – “It didn’t mean anything” – won’t cut it at all with your boyfriend. What will – and the only thing that will – is being totally honest about the fact that there is no excuse for your cheating, and proving how very, very sorry you are.

He Can See it All

We all know that men are more “visual” than women but when a girlfriend has cheated this has a nasty side effect. A man’s mind fills with unwelcome images of the actual cheating and painful as they are, they can’t get the pictures out of their head.

Take any opportunity you can get – whether talking with your ex or one of his friends – to describe things as they really were, highlighting all the negatives. This will create new pictures he can live with more easily, and more easily forgive.

Forgiveness Depends on The Big Picture

For women, it’s bad enough that a partner has cheated – the actual details are relatively unimportant. For men, on the other hand, the devil is in the details – the how, what, when and where. These details, such as who exactly you cheated with, who knows about it and so on, will have a big impact on whether your boyfriend can forgive you – or how soon. For instance, if you cheated while on a trip away and hardly anyone knows it’s going to be a lot easier than if you you cheated with his friend – and everyone knows.

What this means is, you need to think about the big picture. The bigger it is the more of a challenge it’s going to be to get your boyfriend back after cheating. Thinking about this might not be pleasant but it will give you realistic expectations about how much you can achieve, and how soon.

More Advice

For more advice on getting a boyfriend back after cheating see our Cheating and 2nd Chances section (for men and women) where advice includes 10 Tips on How to Get an Ex Back After You Cheated.

When you face extra challenges it’s also a good idea to take a look at books on getting an ex back. These provide complete plans for getting an ex back, even if you have cheated or your ex is now with someone else. As T Dub Jackson of the Magic of Making Up (review) says, “There are no impossible situations!”

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