Meeting With Your Ex

Meeting With Your Ex

To get your ex back, at some point you will need to arrange a meeting with your ex and talk about your relationship. Perhaps you already see each other in passing, and feel nervous and awkward. This has to change. It is important that you get your act together before you meet with your ex.

You have time to make sure you do.

If you are determined to get your ex back you will need to be patient, and wait. Initial contact with your ex must be slow and careful. When the time is right – be sure it is not too soon – you will have to have a face-to-face talk with your ex where you will raise the subject of getting back together.

It is crucial that you handle this meeting right if you are going to get back with your ex.

Be prepared for your meeting

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Before this critical meeting with your ex, you have to do some soul searching. Consider the reasons for the break up. Be as unemotional as possible. Write down the reasons that you and your ex have broken up and then think about the part you played in each of them.

For your meeting with your ex to have value – for it to help you get your ex back – you need to know in which areas you are willing and able to make changes. You need to identify areas where you are prepared and not prepared to compromise. Be realistic. Don’t tell yourself that you will change some facet of yourself that you know in your heart you cannot or will not change.

Now you need to be good to yourself and allow this introspection to have a positive effect on you. Remind yourself that you are not a “bad person.” Like everyone else on the face of the planet, you have faults. You know what you are willing and able to change about yourself, and what aspects of your personality are simply immutable. Allow this self-knowledge to give you strength and confidence.

On the day you meet your ex…

On the day of the meeting with your ex, give yourself plenty of time. Don’t plan anything else for the day and take the day off work if necessary. You want to look your best for your ex and feed your self with plenty of positive self-talk. You want to walk into the meeting feeling good about yourself and knowing that getting back together is the right thing for both of you.

What to talk about

Keep the conversation light and casual at first. Ask about the same things you would if you were still together: work, books, sports, mutual friends, that sort of thing. Don’t be teary or grasping. When the time is right, simply say that you know that some aspects of your personality can be less than desirable at times. Tell your ex that you have been doing a lot of thinking about your own foibles and that you realize that these things did contribute to the break up.

Do not say that you are willing to change in order to get him or her back. That will only make you look needy. Instead say that you are going to change in order to be a better person; that you are making changes in your life for your self, not for him or her.

This is a critical moment. Tell yourself that to get your ex back you have to appear to be strong. At all costs you must avoid coming across as a needy, grasping person that is fit more for pity than for love.

In the steps you must take to get your ex back, looking critically at yourself can be difficult but it is an essential part of the process. If you can do this and emerge with renewed confidence in yourself and your ability to change, your meeting with your ex will go well and multiply your chances that you will get back together.